I hate those small things that makes me remember all the painful, embarrasing and sad memories from my childhood. Like coffee stains on a document. Things others don’t necessarily notice, but that gives me a heartache to hard to stand and leaves me with nothing but pain and a fucked up brain.
There’s something going on between me and a lad who’s 22. I haven’t told him about my age, he’s going to freak out when he finds out. This is a big mess, I’m just a teenager and not even that into guys.
Please tell me what to do…
Today I thought of a girl from my school. She has everything you want, a perfect body and long, shiny hair, money, a lot of friends, she lives in a beautiful house and travels a lot.
I got so envious, but I consoled myself with the idea that she may have other problems, problems no one knows about. Like suffering from depression, eating disorders, anxiety, a broken heart, family trubbel, insecurity or a self-destructive behavior.
Then it hit me, that those were my problems.
My heart is in pieces. I don’t know what to say, I don’t know what to feel. How come that I feel this pain? I’d never even knew her, I’ve never even met her, I’ve never even saw her in real life. But she was my beloved inspiration. I always feel a bit awkward and uncomfortable when people talk about their love for celebrities, but I swear, after Amy Winehouse’s death I’m never going to be that judgmental again.
Her music means everything to me, it helps me through everything, break-ups, fights, sorrow, panic disorders, anxiety, loneliness. And it enhances happiness, joy, love, satisfaction and my inner peace. She taught my about what real music is all about, she taught me about jazz, soul and blues, she was - and still is - a true inspiration to me. Her music made me who I am, no one influences me as much as she does.
Today it’s been a year sins she passed away, and the world lost the 21th centurys best singer. Amy’s lyrics wear true, honest and touching. She gave her soul to us through her music, and with her voice she could make even the most stone-hearted person melt. She was an amazing performer, and she could do things with her voice that was just incredible. I admire her as a person, since she was so genuine and uncompromising. Her death was just a waste of talent.
Her music will live forever, ‘cos what’s inside her never dies. Rest in peace, Amy Winehouse, my queen.